


New Years Resolution

by CaitClandestine



Category: Fortnite (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, x2Twins - Fandom
Genre: Gen, cuddlytwinstm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29231637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaitClandestine/pseuds/CaitClandestine
Summary: They take care of each other.





	New Years Resolution

Jordan's the kind of passionate about their job that it hurts to call it sometimes, a sharp sting of should've tried harder, shouldn't let people down. Jesse mockingly calls him a workaholic like they're not wired exactly the same, that it doesn't weigh heavily on his twin's shoulders trying to unexpectedly carry the stream because Jordan can't keep it together long enough. 

They're both spent parts of the last couple years pushing too hard but Jordan's distinctly aware that Jesse's logged more hours than him in front of the camera, often goes along with it even when it's so, so obvious to maybe no one but the two of them that he's absolutely hating it and Jordan doesn't want that for him, for them to keeping crashing and burning like they've been. 

So they make it their new years resolution to try and put themselves a little higher up the priority list and even though Jordan knows they each think it's more for the other's benefit it's something they need equally, the written-in ability to keep each other accountable. 

It's why Jesse takes a few days off early on, why Jordan practically shoves him out the door to spend more time with their family, get some sunlight at the farm. He can carry for a bit. 

They do get swamped, videos and long streams that are actually fucking excellent except that maybe they get caught up in the rush of precious few hours that aren't spent chasing sleep or staring into screens. He has to coax Jesse into eating on stream again because he just can't do both on his own, needs to know he's there as back up. 

Everyone always makes jokes about how their eyes are going square but sometimes Jordan's convinced there's something to it, eye strain feeling all too real sometimes, stash of eye drops in the bathroom for when they both struggle.

But he's already used them twice today and it's not any better, a dull, painful ache that gets in his head and seems to shake it like a snowdome, tampering with his usual careful focus and the moment they switch from actively playing to viewing party it all starts to catch up with him. 

Comparatively, he's sure his migraines are like, at the bottom of the severity scale. They don't drop him completely, just sneak up like Jesse stealing one of his cookies and it's more annoying that anything, the slight edge of dizziness when he shifts his gaze too much, not helped by the constant flipping through streams. 

He can mostly ignore and get away with it for long enough, though whether he should is an entirely different thing. Under the table, Jesse persistently nudges at his feet and it's a rare occasion that he can slip anything past his other half. 

So he assigns himself a ten minute break. Enough time to grab some water, wash his face, reapply the eye drops and lie down for a minute, get his head to stop threatening to spin.

Maybe twenty minutes. 

He doesn't make it to the kitchen, ends up flopping down on his bed and rolling himself up in his soft blanket. He's suddenly so very, very tired. The migraine threatens but it's still in the distance as he curls up into a ball and tries very hard to not concentrate on how the throbbing pain seems to be in time with his heartbeat. 

At some point Jesse shouts something at him like they're having a conversation and that jolts a much sharper pain through his head and he groans. It's been way longer than ten minutes now and he doesn't want to not come back because he said he would, can only imagine how chat is filled with demands to know where he is but he just, new years resolution. Jesse won't make him but it's not worth being dead-weight with so many hours left to go. They can have an earlier night, return strong for more exciting finals tomorrow.

He does breathe a sigh of relief as he hits offline, turns his attention back to Discord.

Jesse yawns, arms stretching out and as he stands up and gives him a typical Jesse kind of look.

"What" He says quietly, "Do you think you're doing?"

Jordan pauses, squints at his twin from around his monitor. 

"What do you think" He retorts, starts reciting off his little sticky note list. "Thumbnail, video check, send that file, fix that setting, do that other thing we talked about and message thingo and thingy back"

Stream or no stream, they still have work. He tends to do the bulk of it, kind of prefers it that way. Organising other people is not one of Jesse's top level skills whereas he likes seeing the puzzle pieces all coming together. He makes Jesse do the intro's though, says it's character building.

"Bed" Jesse replies flatly, "I'll sort the video and the files and the rest can wait for tomorrow"

"I can do it" He protests, simultaneously having to abruptly close one eye as another jolt of pain stabs at him, apparently the threat of stream had been keeping it at bay but it's here now and arguing with Jesse drops down a few places on the priority list. 

"I said i'll sort it" Jesse repeats, a little softer this time, "Tell me you really want to sit out here another hour in a call"

Jordan really doesn't. He knows Jesse knows that, will probably appreciate the gesture when he's capable of thinking again.

"Don't screw up the intro" He mumbles, sliding his headset off and pushing his chair back, "And double check the spelling of like, everything"

He goes to stand up and everything spins, makes him grab for the desk to steady himself. The little adrenaline kick he gets from stream is well and truly gone now. Jesse doesn't have to say anything for Jordan to know exactly what he's thinking, read his expression perfectly even through narrowed eyes and part of said new year resolution means letting each other help.

He could stumble to his room but it's far easier to have Jesse's strong arms around him, leading him to the bathroom and then disappearing as Jordan harnesses what's left of his ability to concentrate to pee straight, flushes and ends up flipping the lid and taking a seat. Help isn't so bad if he's honest. They're the only people they can be vulnerable with and from the other side he knows what it's like to want to help and be denied. He'll let Jesse if Jesse let's him.

Jesse comes back for him a few minutes later, trails them back to his room and he's even fixed up Jordan's blanket, pulled his sheets back for him to climb into, pillow propped up just a little behind his head and it's so much better, not having to stand up anymore.

The migraine wafer melts easily on his tongue as Jesse vanishes again, long enough for him to whine under his breath about how the lights are still on. 

It's worth it though because Jesse returns with a damp cloth, carefully folded up and it's so, so nice against his eyes, the weighted darkness and the soothing coolness. He changes his whine to more thankful sound as Jesse also wrangles a pillow under his knees, rolling him sideways just a little and then another under his back until he's in his favourite position and not having to do any work to physically hold himself there.

"I'm gonna spell your name wrong" Jesse announces, pulling his blanket back over him and tucking him in, warm hand lingering on his shoulder for a barely there extra second, "Water on the table, plugged your phone in and extra wafer if you need it"

The door clicks behind him as he shuffles out and Jordan snuggles further down into his little nest. New years resolution isn't so bad. The pain stays sharp for longer than he'd like but does eventually start to fade, just a dull pressure in the front of his head when Jesse comes to check on him and he's got no idea how long it's been, if he's fallen asleep or not. 

"S'allgood?" He manages to slur out, mouth dry and he starts to sit up, ignores the rush of dizziness that accompanies the motion and there's a bottle being pressed into his hand before he can even voice the thought, cloth falling into his blankets somewhere but his rooms still dark, Jesse just a faint shadow in his still watery vision.

"Yeah, video went up fine, going to bed" Jesse whispers, "You need anything?"

He ponders the question, takes tiny mouthfuls of water because swallowing makes his head ache all over again. He wants to be still streaming, not being a disappointment and letting his brother down.

"Maybe cuddle?" They're both either super touchy feely or completely not into it and even Jordan's not entirely sure if he actually wants to be cuddled or not, words falling out his mouth before he can really consider it too much. Maybe Jesse won't want to and then he'll know from his own reaction.

"Give me ten minutes" Jesse says, taking the bottle from him, 'Don't fall back asleep"

Jesse comes back scented of toothpaste and brings with him a new cool cloth and his own fluffy blanket to add to the pile.

They end up in less of a cuddle and more a backwards spoon, Jesse's back curled warmly his own and it's just enough contact, a little reassuring sense of not being alone even though they'll be tucked against each other for sure in the morning, Jesse's head always resting on his chest like it's been magnetically drawn there, leg thrown over his like he's trying to stop him from escaping. It's better again when he's still, side effects vanishing until the next time he dares to move. He wiggles back further into Jesse, listens to how he huffs but wriggles right back.

He stirs at some point with sharper pain this time, Jesse against his chest and he whimpers. It's rare that he gets more than one and in his half-awake state it seems beyond agonising, forcing his eyes tightly shut.

"Jesse" He gets out through gritted teeth. His brothers too heavy, dead-weight feeling like it's suffocating and he sleeps deeply too, once he's managed to fall asleep at all. He tries to slide out from under him, arms too weak from sleep to push him off as he fumbles for his bedside table, for the extra wafer packet Jesse had preemptively left out for him. 

He finds it too late, sends it skittering off the edge and onto the floor and he makes another pitiful noise that finally makes Jesse shift, elbowing him in side and making a whine of his own.

"Je-sse" He whispers, "Get off"

Jordan's all too hot, damp with sweat and he might throw up, he doesn't know. What he does know is that it's not going to be in his bed, finally freeing himself from under a confused Jesse to stagger blindly to the bathroom, dropping to his knees on the cool tiles by the bathtub.

His head really fucking hurts now, worse than it's been in a long time. He hangs his head over the edge of the tub and really, sincerely hopes he's not actually going to throw up, breathing through his mouth and trying to turn his world right way up again. Surely Jesse realises he's gone and doesn't just fall back asleep. 

"Jordan?"

Jesse's far too loud voice is welcome all the same and Jordan listens to his thundering steps down the hallway, flinches when the bathroom light flicks on.

"Help" Jordan says in what he knows is the most pathetic voice but at this point he's beyond caring too much, pain outweighing everything else. Jesse won't hurt him, won't make fun of him. 

"Shit" He hears Jesse mutter under his breath but even that's too loud, makes him cling tighter to the enamel edge.

Elephant's footsteps retreat then return quickly and he's blessed with the light being turned off, just the bright hue of Jesse's phone as he rests it on the furthest bench, running water noise crashing against his skull and then his twin is beside him, arm wrapping around his shoulders and holding him steady before there's the familiar rustle of packaging and okay, he's not a baby he can absolutely take his own medication and yet he opens his mouth in the dim light almost automatically, little voice in the back of his head telling himself it's just because the chances of Jesse breaking the precious wafer goes up the longer he holds it, not that it means everything that he's willing to do it for him. 

Another cool cloth finds it's way to the back of neck this time, startling him a little but then it's good, something else to focus on. He stays hunched over the bath, not trusting himself and Jesse's hand rests steady against his back.

"Just breathe" Jesse murmurs and yeah sure, it's easy for him to say except it's not, Jordan can't count the amount of times those words have come from his own mouth instead, the extra weight behind them. 

So he does, pants ungracefully in time with the beating of his heart and the stabbing of his head, the growing ache in his knees against the tiles until he loses all sense of time, caught between hoping it's over and dreading it'll get worse. 

Jesse's just there, an anchor in the darkness and when Jordan finally manages to lift his head there's a bottle of water being pressed into his hands and despite the pain this time he goes for it, long gulps to try and soothe how dry his throat is, how thirsty he suddenly feels. 

He drops the mostly empty bottle into the tub with a thud, goes back to focusing on the rushing in his ears. It's getting better, but barely. 

The nausea is gone too, now that he focuses on it. He can pull away, sit back onto the floor. Jesse moves with him, slots in behind him and Jordan leans back gratefully, tries to match the steady rise and fall of Jesse's chest, coherent enough now to appreciate the irony of the situation.

"Bed" He says quietly, "I'm bruising my ass over here"

"You don't have enough of an ass to bruise" Jesse retorts but his tone is still gentle, barely more than a whisper as he's getting to his feet, arms reaching down for him, "Up we go"

He's stronger than Jordan gives him credit for sometimes, nearly gets carried back to his room, would probably let it happen if the hallway was wider and his tenuous grip on the pain wasn't at risk from Jesse smacking it into the wall. 

The fluffy blankets get pushed to the bottom of the bed, the thought of them making Jordan feel even hotter than he does, skin clammy as Jesse tucks him into bed all over again, climbs back in and the pain starts to drop significantly as he lets himself be properly little spooned, comforting weight against his back this time.


End file.
